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(via dropdeadkels)
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When this woman looks at you, all your thoughts go away and she’s the only one in the room ;3
Sexy as fuck<3
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FML
I’M SORRY FOR PEOPLE THINKING I’M SOME ATTENTION SEEKER….THERE MY FEELINGS ARE OUT. I CAN BREATHE NOW </3
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Dear (friend)
Listen I’m sorry. I kept on doing what I think was either worrying or hurting you with something you know of. I care the whole fuckin’ world about you. I know you didn’t appear on Wednesday, and because of that I was mad, and other things that day. Thing is, I’m being honest, you can make me sooooo angry or something, and I may not want to be your friend or I feel I hate you, but truth is I would miss you too much no matter what. You’ve tried to be there for me, and help me with certain things but no matter what you did to try, I pushed you away every time. Don’t tell me that I don’t need to say sorry because I do. Truth is, I love you, I would miss you too much no matter what you did or I did. I keep pushing you away when all your doing is trying to help me. I wish I was a better friend to you. The problems and addictions I’m dealing with are something I only FEEL I can’t give up, and in turn when you try and help me, all I do is push you away. Please forgive me. Please reply to this, and please please can we chill ASAP and talk about some things. I want to repair our friendship, because without you, my best friend, and sister, I would miss you too much. I love you.
Forgive me. The following is for you, with SOME little fixes -
Tonight I kinda like really want to die……but fuck I won’t…..
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I wished it was me…..
I remember one day with my dad and my grandparents. My 13 year old brother Patrick, was acting up. Just talking as usual. My grandpa got his anger out of control, and got out, pulling the back door open. One of the seats was taken out, and my brother was leaning with his back against it. My grandpa grabbed my brother by the hood of his sweater pulling him back against the seat. My brother was getting choked and almost died. I remember pulling my grandpa off, and him hitting me in anger. I saved my brother because I love him and if he died, I don’t know what I’d do. But also because I was hoping my grandpa would kill me. I remember seeing that and for some reason, I wished it was me. So I could die. That would be good for me, I think
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Can I go die now?
Today……one of my best friends Katiee is throwing out my blades, and taking me to get help with my self harm…
The thought of it makes me want to die, cut, purge (for some reason), cry and just lose control of myself. I need my razors with me, or else I’m going to feel so lost without them. I hate the feeling of being lost, empty. Razors are my first love.
Anyways, I could not sleep last night. I was thinking of today, and somehow my mind went to the first time I cut myself.
Me and my grandparents had a fight about something. I remember going into the kitchen, crying my eyes out, and saw the knife in the rack. I quickly grabbed it and ran to my room. I didn’t know why I even grabbed it. Maybe I felt I needed to feel close to something. Later on in the night, my grandparents in bed, me crying my eyes out. I remember feeling hopeless, lost, and just needing to release myself from reality. I remember grabbing the knife, and dragging it across my arm as the blood poured out.
It felt so good, and that is what has led me here today.
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